I am always honored by the couples that seek to heal their relationship.
It is a true commitment of time and resources. My goal is to make your sessions worth the time and effort it takes the rest of the week while you are doing the real work of making your relationship a place you both long to be.
Relationship therapy is always work and sometimes it is hard, gut-wrenching and tear-filled. Let’s face it your relationship is already those things anyway, that is what has been the catalyst for you to seek relief. So, why not make it worth the effort? My belief is that it is the most important work you will ever do. Just the fact that you are looking for help is a clue that there is still the seed of love you had at the beginning and that you believe in the relationship’s importance in your life. That means you can be successful.
I have studied many of the major specialists and theories on relationship therapy. There are many ways to approach relationship difficulties, just as there are many ways in which relationships need healing. There is a distinct spiritual aspect to marriage also. Addressing the spiritual aspect of each individual and of the marriage relationship is critical to healing at a deep level and brings lasting results. I use all of these to help you and your partner return to feeling good about being with each other.
At a personal level, I understand marriage. I understand family life. I understand working and being a parent. I know the pain of a broken marriage. I know the pain and joy of raising four children. I know the struggles of finances. I know about unemployment’s toll on a family. I know about having parents with chronic debilitating health issues and the work it takes. And I know about losing people I love.
BUT, I also know the joy of a marriage based in love that honors each partner as an individual, that recognizes that together we are better than we are separately, and has a love that still recognizes being “in love” and the richness of the kind of love that grows only after problems have been endured, the kind of love that is sustaining and enriching.
It is this kind of joyful sanctuary that I want for all the couples that honor me with their request for help to bring them back to the reasons they came together in the first place.
Many times, only one partner feels that it is time to make a change. If you desire a happy, joy-filled future with your partner, I encourage you to discuss the possibility of counseling with them. Even if they do not wish to come to sessions, it is helpful for the partner that is interested to come alone. There are many avenues to relationship improvement.
In either case, we will spend a few sessions getting to know one another by covering your family history, dating history before and with your current partner, and issues that need healing currently for you together and individually. After these initial sessions, your topics will be customized to your specific areas of need.
I recommend that you make arrangements to have your appointment (75 minutes is recommended, but 50 minutes can be adequate) on the same day of the week at the same time if at all possible, to secure babysitters in advance, and to plan to spend at least an hour after the session alone with each other having a cup of coffee or going someplace quiet to walk or sit together. This allows the session to “sink in”. If you go home immediately, the experience is easily lost in the hustle and bustle of daily living.
Your counseling is a gift you are giving each other and your family. I encourage you to commit to it totally.